LO5 - Reflection on feedback.

1. Have needs/ expectations been met for the client brief and target audience?

For this unit I have been tasked with creating a script for an episode for Yorkshire Lasses which will be aired on Sheffield Live. The target audience for Yorkshire Lasses are mainly female that are between the age of 16 - 25 with the social grades of the intended target audience being ABC1C2. The script for the latest episode relates to the target audience as it features a number of things that are similar to the target audience. The characters are in the ages of 18 - 24 and they come from a range of backgrounds, Frankie Cheryl and Liam are all upper class and would be considered to be in the AB category. They come from wealthy backgrounds and get allowances from their parents. Stacy Amy Carl and Jeremy are all middle lower class and would be considered to be BC1C2, after all of the bills are paid they have enough deposable income for a comfortable life but not enough to be considered well off. Jimmy and Ryan are lower / working class and would be considered to be in the DE class. Ryan lives on his own and works part time, once all of his bills are paid he has little disposable income and Jimmy relies on the welfare state for his income.
Another way in which the script relates to the target audience is that a lot of the problems that arise in the episode are problems that the majority of the population face, therefore the audience would understand what it happening and why the characters behave in the way that they do.


What were the clients likes and dislikes?

After speaking with The Writers Group one of the things that could be improved is the ending of the script. In my opinion this was the weakest area of my script. They had said that it should end on a cliffhanger involving Carl, Jeremy and Cheryl. It was suggested that Carl and Cheryl should be quite intimate before Jeremy sees them together, they could be embracing or leaning in for a kiss and at that moment to camera would cut to Jeremy who has just spotted them, the scene would end as soon as they have spotted each other. This is important because since Yorkshire Lasses is a drama it would need to follow the conventions of a TV drama. One of the other things that was mentioned in the meeting was that I could add some background sounds to some of the scenes like the ones at Meadowhall and at Weatherspoons, these locations are quite noisy with them attracting a mass amount of people all day. So as the characters are talking this would be in the background just loud enough to be noticed.
The of the things that The Writers Group did like was how the narrative developed, you could see how the tension was raising between the characters before they had all met.
When they eventually did meet

What are the relevant changes that need to made to the script?

So then main aspects of the script that I need to change are:

• Adding diegetic sounds where needed
• Ending the script on a cliffhanger 
• Add some ambient music   

The are three scenes in the scripts that need the diegetic sound which are ones at Meadowhall, Weatherspoons and the party at Cheryl's house, since they are the locations with the most background noise. With the cliffhanger, I am going to have Carl and Cheryl kiss and at that moment Jeremy runs round the corner to find them embracing each other. The ambient music will be played between the scenes, this would be used to help show progression between the scenes. These changes are important because these are part of the conventions of a TV drama, adding these to the script allow Yorkshire Lasses to fulfil its purpose as a drama.


Is the content of the product correct?

Based on all the example scripts that I have looked at the I would say that the Yorkshire Lasses script meets the needs of a TV show script. The language of the script is informal and it's because of the characters' background and their environment. The characters are young and younger people don't really approach other people in a formal way and also, all of the character know each other so when they are speaking to each other it is in a relaxed manner. The house style of the script follows the conventions of a TV show, it is written in courier font at size 12. The location information is justified to the left of my script, the characters' speech is in the middle of the script with names in capitals and the shot types, camera angles editing techniques are justified to the right of my script. One of the other features of the script is the intro and outro all TV shows (Soaps) have their own theme music like Eastenders that is played at the beginning and the end of the show.

The script covers more than one type of mode of address, it depends on the type of conversation the characters are having. In scene one where Cheryl is talking to Jeremy the mode of address would be Parent to Child, the language in the script is informal since there is a relationship between the two. Cheryl is the dominant person between the two as she is angry at Jeremy as he doesn't agree with her, in this instance Jeremy seen as defensive making him the smaller person. However in the third scene at Weatherspoons the mode of address between the guys is peer to peer, everyone is the scene is equal as they are just having a regular conversation with each other and because of this the language is informal.

To be able to film this episode I would need to add more shooting script conventions to it for it to be successful. I could add more to the location information so you have a better understanding of what the area should look like. I would also need to add in some sound effects, this is because normally the camera may not be able to pick up the sound that you are create to give it its desired affect.

Does it meet legal and ethical requirements?

With regards to the legal and ethical side my script would need to abide by the rules and regulations of Ofcom. One of their broadcasting codes that applies to me is Section One Protecting under 18's. It states that material that might seriously impair the mental or moral development of people under eighteen must not be broadcast. Also, children must be protected from content that isn't suitable for them by appropriate scheduling. Some of the content in my script would be deemed unsuitable for young children so, if this was to be broadcast on TV it would have to be after the watershed which is after 9PM. I also intend to have this available on the internet, to try and protect the under eighteens I would have a page pop up where the user would have to prove their age in order to watch the episode. 

One of the things that I would need to do is to gain permissions for some of the materials that I want to use for Yorkshire Lasses, the music used at the intro and the outro is what I need the permission for. Gaining permissions for materials is important because there are property laws that protect creative works like music, using such materials without permission would be violating the owners rights which would subject you to legal action. You would be forced to pay money damages to the copyright owner and be forced to stop using the work. However, if the work has fallen into the public domain then I would not need permission to use it as it is qualified for fair use. If the use of the material qaulifies as fair use then it would not be considered an illegal infringement.

LO4 - Client Feedback.

I had asked five questions to the Writers Group about the content on my script, this is the email.

This is the interview between me and one of the representatives from the Writers Group.

LO3 - First draft and feedback.

This is the feedback that I had received on my script regarding the structure of the script and any spelling mistakes in the script.